Emerging Personality Difficulties

Warning

Sometimes, things that happen early in life can make it hard to manage feelings, thoughts, and behaviour. Sometimes these experiences can affect the development of personality.

When you have issues with the development of your personality, you might experience some of the below:

Feelings that change very quickly and feel very strong.

Getting angry and finding it hard to calm down.

Feeling very alone or empty inside.

Not knowing how to show or explain feelings.

Feeling like other people don’t understand you.

Finding it hard to make or keep close friendships.

Doing risky things, like hurting yourself, using alcohol or drugs, or acting without thinking.

For more info visit YoungMinds | Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.

 

Everyone is an individual. No two people experience the same things. 

What can help?

 Make a Crisis Plan

Plan what to do when you feel very upset. Write it down and talk about it with someone you trust.

Think about the last time you felt really upset and did something that hurt you or put you at risk. Ask yourself:

 What was happening at that time?

 How were you feeling?

 What did you do and what happened after?

Look for patterns:

 Do the same things make you feel this way?

What has helped before?

What hasn’t helped?

Write down ideas for what you and others can do to keep you safe. Share this with people who support you.

Self-help ideas

When you feel upset, try something that helps you calm down or distracts you:

Look After Yourself

  Eat healthy food and try not to have too much sugar or caffeine.

  Go to bed and wake up at regular times.

  Limit screen time before bed.

  Do something active like running, swimming, or dancing.

  Write down something you did well each day.

  Talk to someone if you feel sad.

  Break big problems into smaller steps and ask for help.

 Calm and Soothe

Try a relaxation or meditation app.

Go for a walk and notice nature around you.

 Use apps like Insight Timer for free meditations.

Distract Yourself

Do a craft or puzzle.

Watch a film or TV.

Listen to music.

Grounding

If you feel overwhelmed or “not here,” focus on what’s around you:

Count things in the room.

Smell something strong like a candle or perfume.

Find more grounding ideas on therapistaid.com | Grounding Exercises

 

Release Tension

If you feel like hurting yourself, try these instead:

Ping an elastic band on your wrist.

Write or draw your feelings.

Squeeze a stress ball.

Editorial Information

Last reviewed: 01/07/2026

Next review date: 01/07/2027

Author(s): NHSGGC Specialist Children’s Services Professional Psychology lead (former)..

Approved By: NHSGGC Specialist Children’s Services Professional Psychology lead (current) & NHSGGC CAMHS Clinical Governance Executive Committee

Reviewer name(s): NHSGGC MH Supported Self-Management App Editorial Group, NHSGGC Specialist Children’s Services Research & Development Manager.